I Didn’t Want to Write This… But My Soul Needed It
Why Hiding Your Sins Won’t Save You
There’s been something bothering me, and maybe, just maybe, putting it into words will help lift this weight off my chest — even if just a little.
I’m not proud to say I have sinned. Sins I used to openly criticize in others. Sins that would make my parents instantly disappointed in me if they knew. Sins I didn’t mean to do. Sins I thought would “cause no harm,” not realizing the person being harmed the most was me.
I used to believe a sin was only something that wiped the smile off someone else’s face. Whether that person was a friend, a parent, or some random stranger on the other side of the world. But I’ve come to learn the damage doesn’t end there — it reaches deeper, burrows into you. That ache of conviction, the guilt, the sense of unworthiness. The self-loathing that swells inside. And sometimes, the real-world consequences too — the criticism, the stigma, the whispered rumors, the “possible infection" that could change your whole story overnight.
We all know that feeling. That sharp stab in the gut that comes when we’ve done wrong. And what do we do? We run. We hide our faces in clever ways. Maybe we find people just like us and laugh about our shared sins until it all feels normal, until what once stung turns into an inside joke. Or maybe we numb the guilt by throwing stones at people who choose to do right, calling them “judgmental” or “holier-than-thou” until we feel justified. Or maybe it’s endlessly scrolling social media, drowning out the voice inside with noise, likes, retweets, "something to distract us for now."
But the truth is all of it is just hiding. Darkness always hates the light because light exposes. The Word says, “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” But that very exposure is how God heals. His Word brings light, reveals sin, patiently corrects, rebukes, and encourages us to do better. That’s exactly what we keep running from.
Sin is tricky. It hates to be uncovered. Often it takes something beyond us — a sermon, a friend, a line in a book, or even a random blog post — to snap us awake.
That’s part of why I’m writing this. Two reasons actually. One: maybe it brings conviction to someone reading. Maybe it nudges you to stop making excuses, to stop calling darkness light, to stop hiding in communities that call sin “normal.” Conviction isn’t just guilt; it’s a divine invitation to return to God, to repent, to be clean, to be free.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is.” – Romans 12:2
Second reason? Me. “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Writing this is me stepping into the light. It’s me refusing to let my failures fester in darkness where they can rot me from within. It’s me choosing freedom. And maybe it’s a reminder to you too: freedom never starts in the shadows, it starts when you let God shine His light on the ugliest parts of you.
So I’ll leave you with this, whoever you are if you’re carrying secret guilt, don’t bury it deeper. Confess. Pray. Step into the light. Let God heal what shame wants to keep hidden.
It’s scary, but it’s worth it. I promise.
Once again, Sage.